Parasitic addictions suck the life out of me like I'm the cigarette. It's killing me but I need it. The butt of this joke, spelled out in smoke, fades before you can read it.

I've listened to The Mexican by Babe Ruth over 20 times in a row now. I just can stop listening to it. It was used a lot as one of the early b-boy break beats, but the song itself is really good. The guitar solo is actually Ennio Morricone's Fist Full of Dollars theme. Spaghetti western music is growing on me.

Know where to get a milkshake at 4am? If you guessed Whataburger, you're right. The girl that works there has gold teeth. I mean that all of her teeth are gold. And she works the drive through at Whataburger. The spectrum of possible explanations fascinates me.